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Joke of the Day

"If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a really creepy, sexually frustrated toddler."

"Some guy died at the gym... They had to deadlift him out."

"When you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think ""THEY'RE KILLING MY FAMILY, AND I'LL HAVE TO FIGHT THE ATTACKER NAKED"""

"I've got a new job crushing fizzy drinks cans... It's soda pressing [Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/6lWz2UD.jpg)"

"Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here."

"A grate dad! Dad, how does it feels to have the most beautiful son in the world? I do not know son, ask your grandfather."

"Why is it a bad idea to run behind a car? You'll get exhausted"

"A British man and a Chinese man were arguing One of them is Wright and the other is Wong."

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her"

"Hillary Is Like Francium... Take her *elect*ron away and she won't blow up have of America."