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Joke of the Day

"A breakfast buffet at my funeral so people will be happy. But with soy bacon and chia seed pancakes so they know it's a time to grieve."

"What did one gay sperm say to the other? ""How am I supposed to find an egg in all this shit?"""

"What is bruce lee's favourite drink? A fruit punch."

"Why did the tissue get up and dance? It had a little boogy in it."

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Sean Bean. Sean Bean who? Oh that's right, you started watching after his character died. Works for pretty much anything Sean Bean is in except Sharpe."

"What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common? They're all girls on fire."

"What are your best corny jokes? I want them all! ""What's brown and sticky?"" ""A stick."""

"Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. God knows what they did up there because they came down with a daughter."

"but what does Jesus do when he wants to swim"

"IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, NOT CHRISTMAS STEVE!!"