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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. God knows what they did up there because they came down with a daughter."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One doesn't scream when you put it in an oven"

"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"

"The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun."

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single"

"Is there an app that will make my iPhone go get my iPad which is way over there on the desk next to my iMac? iHopeso."

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ...they pass a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""wanna go in there and get shitfaced?"""

"What's the differce between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four!"

"What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? They both feel like fucking death in the morning."