196518

Joke of the Day

"Does Hilary's scandal compare to Bill's? I'd say it's close, but no cigar."

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships I guess in HD was not the answer she was expecting."

"How are women and cigarettes similar? The taste changes as you get closer to the butt."

"That good buddy on Facebook who likes your status because nobody else will."

"What did the depressed muppet say? I want to Kermit suicide."

"- What do you do to relax? - I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know."

"*job interview* ""Youre 30? Why haven't you accomplished your life goals?"" ""Tbh I thought the Mayan apocalypse was real. No plan past that."""

"Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed."

"It's like my golf instructor thinks I'm mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Punch her in the stomach."