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Joke of the Day

"Her: (Sigh) How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey? Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!"

"When Fnatic plays on fy_snow... OLAFmeister gets an ace"

"Why was the vampire's girlfriend mad at him? Because she couldn't finish her sentences. Why couldn't she finish her sentences? He kept eating her periods."

"What animal runs around happily with 5 legs? A pit bull in a kindergarten"

"I challenged Brock Lesnar to a fight.. But he ain't got the guts."

"My girlfriend reacts to 'sex night' the way a 6 year old does to 'bath night'"

"Two grains of sand in the desert.. The first one turns around and says to his friend: ""Dude, I think we are being followed"". I'll see myself out."

"Why did the jihadi hooker ask for advance payment from her clients? She blew them every time."

"Why can't ghosts have babies? Because they have Hollow-Weenies!"

"Once upon a time there was a happy woman... But that happened only once and only to one woman"