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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the son of a Mexican and an Israeli? Jewnor."

"If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something."

"I need to get a car wash but my dogs' nose smudges on the back window appear to be forming a word so I'm gonna let that play out first."

"I whispered to the wind, and the wind told me to shut up."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aries ! Aries who ? Aries a reason why I talk this way !"

"Pedophile pulls up next to a kid and says ""Hey little boy, come in my car and I'll give you a lollie"" kid says ... ""Give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth"""

"Why is school like a boner? It's long and hard...unless you're asian."

"I was tucking my son in last night, and he tells me that his teacher is ""an idiot"" and she's ""out to get him."" Which is just the last thing you want to hear when your kid's home schooled."

"Jokes There are 30 cows in a field 28 chickens. How many didn't?"

"Our kids lost all the Monopoly pieces so we use a cigarette butt, a high-heeled shoe, a rotten molar, and a loaded handgun."