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Joke of the Day

"I heard a chemistry joke the other day... I heard a chemistry joke the other day, it was sodium funny I slapped my neon that one."

"Just straight up LIED to my dog's FACE (told him his breakfast looked ""delicious"")"

"A redditor and his friend, Elle, walk into a bar... The redditor notices a jar of mayonnaise on the bar, so he says, ""Hey, Elle, a mayo!"""

"They say 1 in 5 people now live next door to a child molester. Can you believe that?? We'll not me, I live next to 2 smokin' hot 12 year olds!"

"Why can't the homeless ever get by in America? because there's no chaaaannggggeeeee"

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? A lot. Many Hans make light work."

"What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house? ...it was repossessed!"

"When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change .... except the direction I'm walking in."

"Turning to an episode of Seinfeld and discovering it's one you've never seen is like finding a twenty dollar bill in your pocket."

"What does a submarine full of gay guys smell like? Sea Men"