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Joke of the Day
"Just straight up LIED to my dog's FACE (told him his breakfast looked ""delicious"")"
Next Joke
"A priest, a rabbi and penguin walk into a bar IT'S THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
"What do you get with breaking news? News casts."
"I have sex almost every night! Almost Monday night, almost Tuesday night..."
"My wife asked if I ever think about someone else during sex... ""Nope, just myself."""
"*pretends to get an urgent text so I can turn around after I notice I'm walking in the wrong direction*"
"I have so much money it's kind of gay Because I'm rolling in Bills"
"There are so many people outside, and so much yelling, and I genuinely genuinely don't know if it's a murder or a rare Pokemon."
"How do you make a dog go meow? Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. MEEEOWW!!"
"I love it when people use a hashtag at the end of a tweet to explain the tweet. #usingtheliterarydeviceknownassarcasmhere"