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Joke of the Day

"What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother? I've cleaned up and found Jesus."

"I hit every traffic light coming home from work today. I should probably learn how to drive better."

"What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home? Get in the Karma."

"*desperately tries to get screaming newborn daughter latched onto my nipple* hmmmm. she must not realize I'm a feminist"

"why do we only eat some of the animals I'm looking at you manatees keep being fat your day will come"

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7"

"You're following a man who once stole someone's garbage can lid and used it as an umbrella. That's on you."

"What do hookers do on their night off: type?"

"I'm going to keep using 'penis' as a verb until someone lets me penis them."

"26 letters, minus the U. What do you get? A solipsistic Alphabet."