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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry martinez."

"I heard Israel is planning another false flag attack... The Mossad is going to nuke Gaza and blame it on the IDF."

"Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups."

"Where do you find a paraplegic Where you left them"

"What did the physicist say to the suicidal guy on the bridge? Don't do it! You have potential!"

"My wife and I finally finished baby-proofing the house. Let's see that baby try and get in here now."

"It's fine if you wanna shoot a buncha folks as long as you start with yourself. That's my only rule about it."

"How do you know when spring is here? the Leafs are out!"

"I was flirting with an Asian girl at a bar last night when I decided to ask for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629""."

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."