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Joke of the Day

"An oldie for the road This randomly popped into my head at work and as I started saying it, my boss finished it. *Twats* that? I *cunt* hear you. *Tits* okay. I'll *finger* it out later."

"What's the difference between everyone and bullets Everyone misses Harambe. Don't know if this is a repost or not, just heard it from a friend."

"The ruling that legal papers can now be ""served"" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?"

"I like my women like I like my cold meats In-bread"

"A patient wakes up and yells ""I can't feel my legs!!!"" The doctor says, ""Of course you can't! I amputated your arms."""

"Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!"

"Court decision: ""I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair... ... What happens next will shock you"""

"What do you call a homosexual on rollerskates? Rolaids!"

"What is the worst that can happen to an atheist caricaturist ? To die as a martyr."

"What do you get when a cow has sex with coffee? Decalf"