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Joke of the Day

"[Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice."

"What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ? 2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)"

"I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October"

"A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h. The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour."

"What food greatly diminishes a women's sex drive? Wedding cake"

"Coffee at McDonald's is like sex in prison You'll have no trouble getting it, but it's rough."

"I wish black people took jokes... ...as well as they took bullets."

"What happened in China on Christmas? The Rice-child was born."

"Sound is slower than light... That's why some people appear to be smart before they open their mouth"

"Update: Indian bread factory no longer under investigation for food poisoning, inspector declares. It was a naan-issue."