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Joke of the Day

"What did the Pirate say on his 80th Birthday? I don't know, but I'm sure someone is gonna repost this"

"Daughter saw a photo of me at 18 and asked who the pretty girl was. I told her it was her real mother that died giving birth to her."

"Donald Trump was born a year after Hitler died. I now believe in reincarnation."

"The abusive relationship that I'm in is such a joke I spend everyday waiting for the punchline."

"What's black and looks good on a lawyer? An unconvicted felon."

"What's the first thing you install on a new computer? The operating system"

"Don't ask me for directions I got lost on an elevator once."

"So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet"

"DAD: u can grow up to be anything u want ME: imma be a hamster D: ok not that M: *already building an elaborate series of tubes to run thru*"

"I keep my wine glasses on the top shelf to make sure I stretch daily."