103108

Joke of the Day

"Daughter saw a photo of me at 18 and asked who the pretty girl was. I told her it was her real mother that died giving birth to her."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives."

"My son asked me why girls pee sitting down. I told them they're lazy."

"The Three Words You Dread What are the three words you dread the most while making love? ""Honey, I'm home."""

"What did the apple tell the annoying orange? Citrus down."

"Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane."

"No, officer, I haven't been drinking; my toddler just needed to hand me everything from the back seat."

"I Used To Date A Girl With A Lazy Eye... Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."

"I'm Puerto Rican, but not ""carries a knife in my purse everywhere I go"" Puerto Rican. Sometimes it's in my bra."

"A reporter asks Chess genius, Gary Kasparov:""What do you prefer -- chess or sex? Gary replied, ""... depends on the position."""