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Joke of the Day

"When people post statuses like ""Don't text or call me! Bad mood!"" Um, no one was ever going text/call you in the first place. Just saying'"

"my daughter is 3. her joke about spiders: Spiders make Websites. she's not wrong."

"How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday"

"What's black and sits on top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"What do you call a black guy who was stabbed by a Mexican? An ambulance."

"We all exist due to a radioactive explosion that formed the universe and with endless posibilities... ...you're sitting on your computer reading jokes on the internet."

"How do you get a male cat ""fixed""? Get him Catstrated"

"Making a grocery list after 8 beers is awesome because the next morning I get to wonder why I need 7000 bags of pizza rolls."

"Strangely enough, yelling ""I have a masters degree!"" at this electric wine opener is not helping me figure out how to make it work. Weird."