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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in What about a matchbox !"

"My master plan is to forget sunglasses at every location in the world so wherever I am I'll always have sunglasses."

"So this girl I was seeing asked me for a dick pic... So I asked ""White, black, asian or pacific islander?"""

"What do right-handed people hate most? [NSFW] Having to switch hands at the computer."

"The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth."

"2 deer walk out of a bar 1st deer: Man that was crazy in there 2nd: ya I can't believe I just blew 40 bucks!"

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"People always ask me why I quit my job as a can crusher... Well it was just soda-pressing!"

"""why didnt you come to the Halloween party?"" I was a black kids father for Halloween this year."

"I leant my Ferrari to my friend Carlos and never got it back."