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Joke of the Day
"There's no such thing as automatic doors... ... Only polite ninjas."
Next Joke
"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"
"I hear something. Do you hear that? HERE COMES THAT BOI OH SHIT WADDUP!"
"Imagine if people still used typewriters! We'd have to sit in a giant circle and throw pieces of paper at each other."
"J. J. Abrams wanted to make Luke's lightsaber red but it wasn't greenlighted."
"If Hilary Clinton is elected president, what title will they give Bill? First Lady's man (;"
"#NotMyPresident Yes, we know. You are illegal immigrants, your president is Enrique Pena Nieto"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cecil ! Cecil who ? Cecil have music whereever she goes.... !"
"What were the yoga instructor's last words when he got electrocuted? Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
"Hope nobody has a video of me trying to get the fourth corner of a fitted sheet over the mattress."