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Joke of the Day

"Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer? He wanted someone who understood *capitals* and *lower* case."

"Do rich people ask loaded questions? I mean, surely they do, right?"

"Why haven't you introduced me to your followers yet? Are you ashamed of me?"

"I recently found out that they are reviving Full House. The show is called Fuller House, but Bob according to Bob Sagat, its called Filler House."

"Luke tried to open a pull door by pushing... He had an extremely confused ""luke"" on his face"

"I wonder what made the first person that ate an oyster look at it and think 'Im gonna eat that.'"

"People that say ""God never gives you more than you can handle"" never met my ex-girlfriend."

"What do you call a man with a disfigured penis and a woman with a large vagina? Bendidick Cumbersnatch"

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but prune juice and viagra? He couldn't tell if he was coming or going."

"What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled? Slow dance."