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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to all the Aussies over here! Want to hear a joke? :) Tony Abbott"

"Did you hear about the gay Irish couple? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald"

"most ppl write it like ""haha"", but if i were to write my laugh phonetically it would be ""boop boop boopityboopleboop"" i laugh weird boopboop"

"A woman goes into a doctor's with a bit of lettuce sticking out the top of her panties. Doctor: Oh, that looks nasty. Woman: That's just the tip of the iceberg doctor."

"Why did the French chef commit suicide? he lost his huile d'olive"

"Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !"

"How do you make a cat bark like a dog? Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: ""WOOF!"""

"I ran a marathon in 2011 if you add it all up probably."

"I hate going to 3rd period Chemistry It's such a Bohr."

"I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say ""here, you get to wear the headset"""