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Joke of the Day

"A woman goes into a doctor's with a bit of lettuce sticking out the top of her panties. Doctor: Oh, that looks nasty. Woman: That's just the tip of the iceberg doctor."

"How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It depends on the definition of lightbulb."

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help where I can."

"Sunny today but its not sunday (its Saturday). Really gets you thinking."

"Why don't Photons go to church on Sunday? Photons never have mass when at rest!"

"What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas."

"Chuck Norris did not ""lose"" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice."

"My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream."

"Instead of saying, ""YOLO"", try saying, ""Carpe Diem"". You won't sound like a douche andddd, you won't sound like a douche."

"If a cat won an Oscar what would he get? An a-cat-emy award."