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Joke of the Day

"Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope? Pluto."

Next Joke
 
"I didn't get that job I wanted testing invisibility potions. Apparently they don't hire blind people."
"what do you call a dog who sits on a bench and reads his newspaper? a human-dog xDDD"
"Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a ""how to eat sandwiches without choking"" course?"
"What do fish smoke? Seaweed."
"""I could eat."" - How I answer most questions, even if they're not food-related."
"Do you ever have to fart But end up shitting in your sisters mouth?"
"What's the difference between a jew and a boy-scout? Boy-scout comes back from the camp"
"My dad never really loved me as a child I can't really blame him though ; I wasn't born until he was an adult."
"I cheated on my wife once. We were playing monopoly and when she wasn't looking I stole some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."