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Joke of the Day

"Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope? Pluto."

"I didn't get that job I wanted testing invisibility potions. Apparently they don't hire blind people."

"what do you call a dog who sits on a bench and reads his newspaper? a human-dog xDDD"

"Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a ""how to eat sandwiches without choking"" course?"

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed."

"""I could eat."" - How I answer most questions, even if they're not food-related."

"Do you ever have to fart But end up shitting in your sisters mouth?"

"What's the difference between a jew and a boy-scout? Boy-scout comes back from the camp"

"My dad never really loved me as a child I can't really blame him though ; I wasn't born until he was an adult."

"I cheated on my wife once. We were playing monopoly and when she wasn't looking I stole some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."