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Joke of the Day

"Gay best friend How do you know if your best friend is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Hear about the constipated accountant? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Having a ""20 items or less"" express lane at Wal-Mart is pointless when your customers don't know how to count."

"PRO TIP- Always watch your step on an escalator. I once tripped and fell down the stairs for an hour and a half"

"I don't understand. I've stared at you from a distance multiple times throughout the year. How'd you not know I was in love with you?"

"Did you hear about the kid who was born without eyelids? They used his foreskin to make eyelids. The poor little kid is gonna be *cock*eyed the rest of his life."

"What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead."

"A little boy asks his dad, ""Is it possible to get AIDS from a public toilet seat?"" His dad replies, ""Only if you sit down before the other guy stands up!"""

"Why are clouds like jockeys? Because they hold the reins!"

"*wakes up from a 10 year coma, pretends to be asleep for an extra 5 minutes*"