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Joke of the Day

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Timex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"What do you call an angry archer? A Cross Bowman"

"What is 6"" long and not getting sucked this Valentine's day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe"

"Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge? One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission."

"Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? Because you have a seriously fucked up face."

"If I could be any super hero, I think I'd be Aluminium Man. My superpower would be foiling crime."

"If a woman puts me in the friend zone I immediately borrow money from her and never pay it back because that's what friends do."

"I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat."

"There are so many scams on the Internet now days, but for $19.95 i can show you how to avoid them."

"Credit card fraud is wrong. Unless you're poor & really horny & think a rich guy wont notice a $20/month fee for your amputee fetish."