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Joke of the Day

"Arguing with religious people is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato."

"To be honest, I really don't give a f*ck. I lose friends, make friends and make enemies everyday. Regardless, I'm still going to be me..."

"My kid just locked me out of the house in 95 degree weather, but sure, ""it goes by so fast."""

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.... We'll see about that"

"This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 5? Because 7 8 9"

"Did you hear about the prostitute who had a vagina surgically implanted on her hip? She wanted to make a little money on the side."

"Just got back from seeing a chiropractor that guy cracks me up"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your coconuts, this ain't gonna be your average blowjob. As told to me by a passing homeless man yesterday..."

"Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side but we don't sell them!"