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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the prostitute who had a vagina surgically implanted on her hip? She wanted to make a little money on the side."

"(to kid at lemonade stand) i ain't buying shit until i find you on yelp"

"When choosing a new password.... I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"Did you know that there is an elephant at Bush Gardens? That's what I call my crotch."

"What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes !"

"ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's."

"I just watched a documentary on marijuana They should all be watched that way"

"`That cut looks bad. You should go to the hospital for stitches. ""Nah."" ""Fine, suture self."""

"Arsenal did the mannequin challenge for 89minutes at Old Trafford and still drew."

"Sleep It's better than the rest"