21795

Joke of the Day

"I escaped the terrorists of Iraq, wanna know how I did it? I ran."

"It's not a matter of WHEN the world will end... ...it's WHICH Applebee's you find out at."

"I was Saddam tired last night.... I slept like Iraq..."

"After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed."

"I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name ""Occupant."""

"If strippers are now called ""exotic dancers"" then drug dealers should be called ""exotic pharmacists""."

"WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired."

"Two newborns are having a conversation... 1: You look worried. What's wrong? 2: It's about my Dad. 1: What about him? 2: I saw him with Mom last night. I think he's stealing my milk."

"How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously? By feeding the poor to the hungry."

"Welcome to Cupcake Yoga! NomNomaste."