76444

Joke of the Day

"After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed."

"I have a friend who's half Indian. Ian"

"I always have a suicide note in my shower so that i wont look stupid if i ever slip and crack my head"

"How do you make pickle bread? With dill dough"

"I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought ""Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness"" was inappropriate."

"What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink? The Alaskan Bull Worm."

"Do you know that the Coast Guard requires that you be at least six feet tall? So that if your ship sinks, you can walk back to shore!"

"they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship... But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback"

"WHAT DO THE TEENAGERS CALL...... What do the teenagers call the Asian red light district? Vachina Town"

"Coworker: people around the office think you're too controlling Me: what's that? Coworker: oh, sorry *raises hand*"