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Joke of the Day

"I asked a friend of mine from New Zealand how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but he fell asleep."

"Where do strippers go on holiday ? Poland"

"Why did the homeless women keep flies in a plastic bottle? That was her vibrator."

"I was going to work this morning and sat across from a really hot Thai girl on the train. I kept blushing and sweating and thinking ""Please don't get a hard-on"". But she did."

"*gives you the finger*gives you the spleen*gives you the bones*gives you all the other parts* Now build me a girlfriend like you promised."

"My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know."

"Ebola causes nausea, headaches and is hard to get rid of. Is it a disease or a U2 album?"

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ? 90 minutes in the oven."

"What do you call someone that hangs out with musicians? A drummer"