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Joke of the Day

"I was going to work this morning and sat across from a really hot Thai girl on the train. I kept blushing and sweating and thinking ""Please don't get a hard-on"". But she did."

"What does a Pirate prefer to wear? Doublet or nothing."

"FRIEND: haha she's so cutesay it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar"

"What do you call a pizza who's a DJ? DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm."

"I wrote an essay once comparing various versions of the Bible. I had to do a lot of cross referencing."

"Doing some research on the Fresh Prince of Belair. Does anybody know where he was born and raised and where he spent most of his days?"

"I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work."

"Whenever I hear about a kid getting in trouble with drugs, I like to tell him this story."

"Knock Knock Who's there?"

"I feel really bad for kids in third world countries... They have to go through puberty and their mid-life crisis at the same time."