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Joke of the Day

"Excuse me, are of French Royalty? Because M'damn"

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls."

"How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway."

"Is it true there is an 'underground' organization supporting Mitt Romney? Called ""Sub-Mitt""?"

"A perk of being in your thirties is waking up injured because you slept in a slightly different way than usual."

"Way to disappoint me, things that aren't cheese."

"My favorite exercise at the gym is lateral neck turns, which is where I walk in, shake my head ""no,"" and leave immediately."

"Valentines Day Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says ""I'm on my period"": Priceless."

"The larger the implants, the more likely she'll be confused by a push/pull door."

"I hate it when the used car salesman is just a car wearing a suit."