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Joke of the Day

"How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway."

"Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let's ruin both at once."

"One day I'll cure deafness... You hear me!"

"What do vegetarian zombies eat ? terri schiavo"

"What do you call it when a snake can't perform sexually? Ereptile dysfunction"

"I once dated a girl who told me she had had sex with Mr. Peanut. She was fucking nuts."

"Did you know George III never even bothered to leave his couch during the American Revolution? He was sofa king comfortable."

"Just tell me which one is wrong! The user ID or the password???"

"Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. -My 6 year old Nephew"

"What does the sterile man say when asked if he's gonna get neutered? Vas the deferens?"