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Joke of the Day

"How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway."

"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."

"I caught a mosquito in my hand.. It sucked."

"Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?"

"Confucius say... Baseball is wrong! Man with four balls cannot walk!"

"What do you call 20,000 lawyers under the sea? A good start."

"Three eyes What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig What do you call a chimp with three eyes? A chiiimp What do you call a kid with three eyes? Chinese"

"When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be....""I left the diamonds on an Island, look for clues on my Face Book!....."", just to get them to read all the jokes I've posted."

"[Jewish Joke] What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? They break their nose. (note - I'm Jewish so this is OK)"

"You know what we used to call vegetarians? Idiots that couldn't hunt or fish."