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Joke of the Day

"Is it true there is an 'underground' organization supporting Mitt Romney? Called ""Sub-Mitt""?"

"What do you do to dead chemists? You barium."

"I think I promised to have 3 beers and be home by 10 Sorry honey, I always get those 2 mixed up."

"ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary"

"""So did you hear Bruce Willis passed away?"" ""Really? How?"" ""Suicide. Overdosed on Viagra and Cialis."" ""That's terrible!"" ""Well, he always wanted to Die Hard."""

"IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS *breaks glass* *a glazed honey ham pops out* ""Nice nice"""

"I tried to stop cussing for like five months... But I said fuck it."

"aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?"

"Goya tried to cover up a disaster at one of their factories Someone spilled the beans."

"What is the scientific measurement for moistness? Digits..."