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Joke of the Day

"A man asks his wife what she wants for Valentine's Day. ""I want you to get something that will make me look sexy,"" she says. So he goes shopping and returns home with a case of beer."

"What's 9+10? 19 you fucking dumbass"

"Amazon Prime would be a good title for a Wonder Woman movie."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?"

"What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ? Bike carbonate of soda !"

"CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly"

"I used to think Urethra was the name of a heavy metal band, until I found out it was actually a brand of vacuum cleaner."

"chik-fil-a employee: It Would Be My Dying Wish To Serve You, Great Lord me: I just want some nuggets man cfa employee: I Would Die For You"

"My friend asked me ""if you could have any super power in the world, what would it be?"" I said Cold War Russia."

"What did the communist say at the beginning of the race? ""On your Marx, get set, go!"""