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Joke of the Day

"I used to think Urethra was the name of a heavy metal band, until I found out it was actually a brand of vacuum cleaner."

"Is snapping not cool anymore? Figures. I just mastered the Macarena last month too."

"Jokes about unemployed people aren't funny. They just don't work."

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Gonna start a gym called ""Resolutions"". For the first two weeks of January it's a gym. The rest of the year it becomes a bar."

"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?"

"""What? Only 2% Milk? Then what's the other 98%!?"" [bull walking confidently out of the factory] Oh you don't wanna know"

"It's like my wife didn't even TRY to clean the house while I went out to play poker... I mean, how am I supposed to live like this?"

"It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do."

"""Well that can't be right."" - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands"