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Joke of the Day
"I ate a vegetable... And she liked it so much she woke up."
Next Joke
"Woke up to a beautiful May morning Then we all exchanged gifts and sang carols."
"TIL there is a gay humility parade every year, but no one knows where or when it is. because they are too humble to say."
"Why isn't there a Wal-Mart in Iraq? ....because there is a target in every corner."
"obama canceled the moon exploration program! now we'll never know why it keeps disappearing every month"
"I like my pizza like I like my women Absolutely no pubic hair."
"The woman seated next to me wanted to know if San Francisco is near the water. I replied, ""What's water?"" so she wouldn't feel stupid."
"[My band playing on stage] New GF's friend: Which one is the boy you've been seeing? New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died"
"*interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here."
"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""