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Joke of the Day
"Why did that animal's wife get a divorce? Because he was a cheetah."
Next Joke
"HER: [whispering seductively] tell me your wildest fantasy ME: [also whispering] owning a home"
"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Rubberto"
"Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her"
"Wanna hear a bondage joke? Sorry I'm all tied up at the moment"
"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. The fraction guy reminded me of this."
"My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?"
"I wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything is gonna be okay and then just kinda turn into like $20,000 in cash."
"College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."
"My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was rightI feel ten years older already."