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Joke of the Day

"What do climate change scientists and Donald Trump have in common? Each is desperately hoping the other is a hoax."

"What's the difference between Luke Skywalker and a black man? Luke Skywalker eventually finds out who his father is."

"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart."

"Worst case scenario for the 'coin behind the ear' trick is finding a tumour there and being accused of dark magic."

"What do you call a kitten crying on the grass in the back yard? A lawn mewer. (I wrote this yesterday)."

"I swear, even my ex lasted longer than my phone battery does."

"What am I gonna do with a river? Could you cry me a beer?"

"A magician walks down the street and turns into a bar. Voila!"

"Stare at the waitress's boobs when you tell her you want ""everything"" on your sandwich. Ya never know..."

"Someone stole my identity. And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said ""So sorry man. Hope things work out."""