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Joke of the Day

"How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size? In square feet."

"I was recently asked my view on lesbians... In HD wasn't the answer they were looking for :/"

"My girl threw this one at me right before bed: ""Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"" Because they always do a full cavity search!"

"TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war"

"What was the smoking bee full of? Nicosting!"

"A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, ""Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!"" The toad yells back, ""Naw man, you're in de-nile"""

"My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not."

"Mike Tyson asks you: How do you think the unthinkable? With an Itheberg"

"What did the vampire lizard say to his next victim? Iguana suck your blood!"

"What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him? ""Hey! You did that on porpoise!"""