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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow? A moo-slim."

"Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired"

"As my wife gave birth all the doctors yelled, ""Push!"" I was convinced it was a Pull door."

"What do you do to an elephant with three balls? Walk him."

"Every time I forget to feed my cat, I thank god that I wasn't a teen mom. Because that child would not be OK today."

"Bill Clinton was surprised to find his old sandwich maker is ahead 12 points in the polls."

"Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes? Becuase atomic bombs are bright."

"What did the nihilist wish for on his birthday?"

"Another poor soul worked at a company making blankets. He lost his job when the company folded."

"What did the lawyer say to the sovereign citizen when asked for legal counsel? **Am I being retained?** **Am I being retained?**"