217409

Joke of the Day

"Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That's why most women wear makeup and most men lie."

"Father's Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman."

"Somebody said ""hey wanna eat this apple"" and I said ""no thanks I ate a PC for lunch"""

"Italian Knock knock Knock a knock - who's there - Ayatollah - Ayatollah who? - Ayatollah you already."

"What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute the rooster says cockadoodledoo a prostitute says anycockwilldo"

"New Urinals I'm not a fan of those new shaped urinals, went for a pee earlier and the fan just blew it everywhere!"

"Question: What's better, Star Wars or Star Trek? Answer: Knowing what intimacy with another living human being feels like."

"That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!"

"if you run over a bicyclist with an acoustic guitar on his back the cops will pull you over and give you a briefcase with money in it"

"I cherish a gift a dying friend gave me, strange as it is. With his last breath of life, he gave me his EpiPen. It seemed very important that I have it."