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Joke of the Day

"New Urinals I'm not a fan of those new shaped urinals, went for a pee earlier and the fan just blew it everywhere!"

"If it weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all."

"I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you'll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker."

"Families are like onions.... Watching them be cut into small pieces will make you cry."

"Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?"

"If two vegetarians are arguing is it called a beef?"

"My friend offered me a nice stable job. I declined because I don't like horses"

"Dear freight trains, way to be stuck in the 19th century."

"What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects? Is it about black people?"

"Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me"