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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute the rooster says cockadoodledoo a prostitute says anycockwilldo"

"What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD"

"Look all I'm saying is Harry Potter could have defeated Voldemort much faster with the use of drones"

"My friend payed me to write a construction jobs for him. It's still a work in progress, just trying to get it hammered out. You know what, I think I just nailed it."

"Was on a date with this girl and she asked me if I would tell her my Reddit username, so I did. My face still hurts."

"Wife: He's always rewriting the past.. Therapist: is this true? Me: [doesn't hear because I'm typing 'Shrek killed Hitler' into Wikipedia]"

"Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates. That's why vegans can only say ""i'm vegan""."

"Frozen Joke Don't let it go here let it go else where you flithy badger!"

"What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver."