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Joke of the Day

"What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse? He can't do 'top gear' anymore!"

"GOD: Moses!! I COMMAND YOU TOcan you take your shoes off MOSES: What? Why G: I'm trying to keep the place nice, OK? M: It's a mountain"

"Batman Arkham Knight PC port"

"If I have to Russian again... Soviet."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... so you don't know?"

"In light of Eid Mubarak, here's one... *Mary had a little lamb ... Now she doesn't!* *Eid Mubarak :)*"

"Why are you baking octopus? So I can get octopi."

"I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them."

"I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three. He started counting. ""Uno! Dos!"" And then he was gone. Without a tres."

"Stop calling it ""sweater weather"" and call it what it really is, ""I don't have to shave my legs for 6 months weather."""