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Joke of the Day

"There was a French chef... ...And one day he was extremely angry and said he is going to quit. Another man asked him ""why?"" Then the chef said ""All the food is out of date and I've just had un oeuf"""

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"It's yellow, lives in a tree, and is very annoying? A Banananananana Banananananana!"
"A man was walking his dog through a graveyard... when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone. ""Morning!"", he says. The other man replies, ""Nope, just taking a shit."""
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining because of the cold. I'm whining because I have to wear a entire load of laundry to stay warm"
"What's the best part about going in without a condom? The abortion."
"A man walks into a bookshop and says, ""can I have a book by Shakespeare?"" ""Of course, Sir, which one?"" The man replies, ""William."""
"*lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU"
"Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*"
"Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's dead"
"What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha Ching"