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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bookshop and says, ""can I have a book by Shakespeare?"" ""Of course, Sir, which one?"" The man replies, ""William."""

"My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery."

"With a calendar, your days are numbered."

"What do you call a terrorist who's always late? 9/12"

"Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch? Because he had Somalia."

"I was gonna tell a Holocaust joke but I ran out of gas."

"A man's wife gets angry about him switching to bitcoins He says ""Why don't you switch to bitchcoins?"""

"There is too much freedom in this country, we need more expensive smart."

"I'd like my obituary headline to read: ""Local Man's Struggle With Upstairs Wireless Printer Is Over."""

"Have you heard the watermelon joke? It's pitiful."