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Joke of the Day

"Linguistic studies have shown results about drivers of east asian cars... It is proven that a large number of Hyundai owners have an accent."

"Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?"

"Five Secrets of Successful People: 1. Don't 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets"

"I just slept with Pinnochio. No strings."

"What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading? He gives it an F5"

"I could make way more Ayn Rand jokes here, but most of you would be too weak and altruistic to understand them. Let alone profit from them."

"I'm not a proctologist ... ... but I know an asshole when I see one."

"What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do? ...Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog"

"what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels"

"You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. ""A Game of Phones"""