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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show? He locked the bass player in the car."
Next Joke
"Before an army officer can get married, they need to know the rules of engagement."
"What's the difference between a washing machine and a hippie slut? The washing machine doesn't still want you after you make it spun and put a load in it."
"If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him."
"How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but first he has to rewire the entire building."
"I could never be in a hardcore band because I'd feel awkward putting a sticker up in every bathroom stall I enter."
"Dang girl, Are you part of a ponzi scheme? ...because something smells fishy."
"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Billy played in the mud. Wanna hear a clean joke? Billy took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear another dirty joke? Bubbles is his neighbour."
"""Mommy, mommy, mommy, mom, mom, mommy, mom, mommy!"" -Mormon kids"
"What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away? Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit."