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Joke of the Day
"Before an army officer can get married, they need to know the rules of engagement."
Next Joke
"WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her"
"After years of marriage & kids I have no idea how I'd handle a 1st date. Just give him a juice box, crackers & an iPad? Do I bring coupons?"
"When my wife starts ... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."
"Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid."
"Why do only 9/10 dentists recommend Crest toothpaste? The last dentist is busy killing a lion"
"The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair."
"A Muslim cannibal walks into a bar The bar tender says, 'Wow, is it true that human meat tastes like pork?"" The Muslim says ""How am I supposed to know? I'm a Muslim, I don't eat pork."""
"How many Hindus does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they will keep worshipping in dark."
"[getting car jacked] umm i know i'm supposed to resist and all but if we don't cooperate we're both gonna miss McDonalds breakfast so hop in"