217018

Joke of the Day

"Got a booty text from my ex-husband so I did the logical thing and forwarded it to his new girlfriend."

"How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes? If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes."

"What is the difference between red wine and women I let the red wine breathe when I'm having sex with it."

"I figured out why so many Islamic Terrorists hate Americans. It's because we all have our dicks out for haram babes"

"How do you make 3 pounds of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it."

"A Jewish kid asks his dad if he can have five dollars. He answers, ""Four dollars? What do you need three dollars for?"""

"If all the girls who went to my high school prom were laid end to end... It wouldn't surprise me at all."

"What does Helen Keller call her dog? Nothing. She's dead."

"My brother tried killing himself by running his car in his closed garage. He drives a Tesla."

"I can explain the casting for Thor. Norse mythology describes him as a ""hauntingly beautiful blonde lady"""