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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between red wine and women I let the red wine breathe when I'm having sex with it."

"What do you call a deer... without eyes? No eye deer. without eyes or legs? Still no eye deer. without eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no fucking eye deer."

"Yes, how much for the baby jacuzzi? Ma'am, that's a crockpot."

"A horse walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bank. A horse drives a car. Welcome to horse country. There's shit everywhere please help us."

"What do you call a bird that believes in the change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory of science? A *parrot*-digm shift."

"Do you know why the Circus industry might go bankrupt? If Donald Trump gets elected, the entire world will just need to listen to the news for a free circus."

"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."

"My penis is so long When i put it on my keyboard, it covers all the way from A to Z"

"My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films... He forgot to show Up"

"I keep thinking diarrhoea is part of the family history. Because it's in my genes."